Don't Hire Me

Here's a great way to distinguish between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer. A good lawyer will try to find a way to help you solve your problem without hiring him/her. And a bad lawyer will make it seem like you are completely screwed unless you do. Now, I'm also saying this as an introduction to writing about why you don't need to hire me - so, as a matter of course, I'm placing myself in the good lawyer category. But, in my training and experience I have found that the vast majority of situations are made more complex, difficult and painful by the inclusion of lawyers (although sometimes it cannot be helped), and that the best way to solve most problems is to not involve lawyers. So, if there are lawyers who either have not learned this, or refuse to acknowledge it, they are either very new or very ignorant.

I am often asked by clients if I will contact an opposing party on their behalf. And the answer I give them is always the same: I can do that, but you probably don't want me to. As an attorney, I'm licensed to represent them in a court of law, and in a legal dispute - but the one thing that they don't count on is what effect that bringing me in will have on the situation and the other party. Often times, they ask out of sense of frustration, and usually when discussions with the other party are at some sort of an impasse. And if that's the situation, bringing in an attorney is often the last thing that they should do. Here's why: once you bring an attorney (or even mention bringing in one) the other party will immediately turn defensive, because having a lawyer will signal to them that you're no longer willing to try and work something out, and that now you're going after them. What's more, now they'll feel pressure to get an attorney of their own - which is going to cost them, so now they're really not going to give an inch. So the time you save in having me call on your behalf may end up costing you a whole lot more than just my fees.

But you're still at an impasse... what do you do? You may still want to talk to attorney on how best to proceed. I have counseled dozens of people on alternative approaches to their legal disputes that has either resolved the situation or made the need for an attorney an obvious one. More often than not, however, these folks do not end up as clients of any lawyer, let alone me. But the goal is not the assessing and collection of legal fees, it's the resolution of the matter. Most lawyers can listen to your situation and give you advice on how to approach subsequent communications with regard to substance, tone, theme, etc., without charging you a penny.

Some general advice:

1. Play dumb. I know this sounds trite - but no one likes a know-it-all, even if you actually are one. Maybe you've contacted at attorney and you do know the law in the matter and know that you have a slam-dunk case. Better to act as though you don't and to simply appeal to the other party's general good nature (if they have one).

2. Stay calm. Try to approach the matter from a conciliatory standpoint; a "what can we do to work this out" attitude. This will either cause the other party to also address the problem from a let-get-it-all-out-there approach or infuriate them to the point where they'll start making mistakes.

3. Work it out ahead of time. With the help of someone else go over what you will say and how they may respond. It helps to work with someone who is familiar with the situation, so they can react realistically.

4. Have an agenda. Write down all the points you want to talk about, and keep it in front of you during your conversation. It's fine to get off track, you don't want to seem like you're demanding control of the entire meeting, but be sure you can check all of it off before.

5. Keep a record. Write down your thoughts. Everything in writing when you can, which also includes e-mail. If you're having an important phone conversation, record it. You're not required to ask for permission as long as you're actually on the call - and if you do end up hiring a lawyer, he'll be happy you did.

I was once told by a very senior attorney that the perfect client is rich, angry and wrong. Which made sense from his point of view, but not so much from mine. In fact, the perfect client is someone who is coming to you as a last resort, and would still much rather use you to avoid the conflict they're in rather than escalate it to full scale war. Sure, it's not as good for billing rates, but it's a client I'm absolutely certain I can help. And I'll take that any day.